IF NOAH TRIED TO BUILD AN ARK TODAY

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In the year 2013, the Lord came unto Noah,
Who was now living in America and said:
“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over
-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.”
“Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing
along with a few good humans.”
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
“You have 6 months to build theArk before I will
start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”
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Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
weeping in his yard – but no Ark.“Noah!,” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”
“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.”
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“I needed a Building Permit.”
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“I’ve been arguing with the Boat Inspector
about the need for a sprinkler system.”
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“My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the
Neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my
back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to
go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.”
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“Then the local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark‘s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it.”
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“Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban
on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.”
“I tried to convince the environmentalists that I
needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!”
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“When I started gathering the animals the ASPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the
accommodations were too restrictive and
it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in
a confined space.”
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“Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study
on Your proposed flood.”
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“I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the
Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m
supposed to hire for my building crew.”
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“The Immigration Dept. Is checking the
visa status of most of the people who want to work.”
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“The trade unions say I can’t use my sons. They
insist I have to hire only union workers with
ark-building experience.”
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“To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.”
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“So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10
years for me to finish this ark.”
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“Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine
and a rainbow stretched across the sky.”
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Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
“You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?”
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“No,” said the Lord.
“The Government beat me to it.”
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