4:00 PM   Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM   Singing of “God Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM   Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM   Ceremonial ‘I Hate America’ led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM   Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire , Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM   Al Sharpton Leads Castrati Choir in Singing, “Great Balls of Fire”
5:00 PM   UFO Abduction Survival , Joe Biden
5:30 PM   Eliot Spitzer Speaks on “Family Values” via Satellite
5:45 PM   Tribute to All 57 States
6:00 PM   Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM   Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM   Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
9:15 PM    Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo , Michael Moore
9:45 PM    Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangel
10:00 PM  Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners, Rosie O’Donnell
10:30 PM  Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for Iraq & Afghanistan
11:00 PM  Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM  Free Gov. Blagojevich rally
11:30 PM   Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM   Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish, Obama Presiding
12:00 AM   Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher
12:01 AM   Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM   Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM   Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech
Note: There is one omission in the list above:
Memorial recognition of Obama’s surrogate son, Trayvon, will be in conjunction with the 12:05 AM event.
OPTION: Closing with a “Declaration of War” on the rich; to be decided just before the Convention.
Mitt Romney will be declared “Public Enemy Number One”.
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