by John W. Lillpop
On May 19,
Mexican President Calderon will attend a state dinner at the White House hosted by President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama.
Obama has been asked to present the following letter to President Calderon when
May 19, 2010
As you are no doubt aware, America the Great
is quickly becoming America the Gray. The so-called "boomer"
of scores of millions of formerly productive Americans, will soon reach
As they age, U.S. boomers yearn for a less
frantic pace—and a lifestyle that allows one to pause and smell the
roses now and again.
In other words, boomers are looking for the
"Good Life" which is supposed to accrue to those who work 45 years, pay
ungodly amounts in taxes, raise a family, put children through college,
and baby-sit the grandchildren.
Unfortunately, the United
States is no longer hospitable to graying citizens, especially now that quality health care for
seniors has been all but eviscerated by the phenomenon known as
ObamaCare, which holds that anyone over 45 is a greater threat to
America than an Al-Quaeda sleeper cell.
As a result of these
oppressive, Marxist changes, boomers have decided to move to your Mexico.
that the Mexican government is a strong supporter of open borders and
policies, as least with respect to migrations from
Mexico to America. Accordingly, U.S. boomers anticipate that our needs
and wishes will be fully accommodated with minimal interference and
In plain English, we expect to be treated
like upscale Mexican citizens, with all the perks and advantages
Incidentally, we prefer to be called "undocumented
President Calderon, I am delighted to
announce that scores of millions of undocumented boomers are headed to
Current plans call for about
500,000 of us to cross the border into Mexico each month, starting July
As with any complex transition, there are several
"ground rules" that must be followed in order to make this transfer of
Accordingly, your attention is directed to the
sovereignty, borders, and immigration
laws are essentially null and void with respect to us, the
Please advise your authorities that no
attempt should be made to enforce said restrictions on good hearted,
formerly hard- working Americans.
2. Undocumented boomers are to
receive unlimited education, food, housing, legal assistance, and geriatric care on
demand, the cost of which is to be borne solely by Mexican taxpayers.
Mexican hospitals, medical clinics, and emergency rooms shall be
obligated to meet the medical needs of all undocumented boomers, without
regard to ability to pay.
This obligation shall not be limited
or restricted in any way because of any real or imagined negative impact
on Mexico’s medical systems, including the loss of vital services to
4. Although we are not obligated to pay for
medical services received, we are entitled to send $50-100 billion back
to the United States each year. The Mexican government will actively
facilitate such transfers of funds to our loved ones in America.
English is the only language used by undocumented boomers; we
have no desire or obligation to learn Spanish.
historic free speech, free love, and anti-war revolutions originated
with activists in the boomer generation.
In keeping with our
tradition of aggressive activism, from time to time it may be necessary
for millions of us to take over the streets of Mexico’s large cities in
order to protest proposed new laws when our "rights" are in jeopardy.
such protests, we will wave Old Glory and scream "Yes, we can!" and "We
are Mexico!" in English, as we protest the rule of Mexican law.
such activities are valid free speech expressions in a thriving
Democracy. As a consequence, the Mexican government is to take no action
to limit or impede our
7. We Americans celebrate the 4th of July to
commemorate our independence, and prefer to conduct business as normal
on May 5 and September
16. Anyone who flies the Mexican flag on July 4 is guilty of an
“incendiary” act, which disrespects American culture and tradition and
which may cause us to riot or engage in other large scale civil
8. Undocumented boomers shall be licensed to
drive without regard to immigration status. All driver instruction and
testing materials shall be in English.
9. Blood relatives of
undocumented boomers shall be eligible for the same reduced tuition
rates offered to Mexican citizens. Immersion for the purpose of teaching
Spanish is a failed concept and shall not even be attempted.
Undocumented boomers shall be eligible to vote in Mexican elections
without any requirement to prove identity.
11. Grandchildren of
undocumented boomers born in Mexico shall be
Mexican citizens by virtue of their birth, regardless of the
immigration status of their parents and grand parents, and
We are generally quite sensitive and easily offended. Therefore,
Mexicans shall refrain from using terms like "illegal alien," "Red
Neck," "Cracker," or "Gringo" when addressing or talking about us.
closing, Mr. President, let me assure you that we will attempt to do
for Mexico what 38 million Mexican illegal aliens are currently doing to
With best regards and wishes for a diverse and free
San Hose, California