Strategies for Invading America in the Era of SB 1070

Satire by John W. Lillpop

In
light of Arizona’s
tough new anti-illegal alien law, officials in the Mexican government
have rushed through a revised guideline for invading America
booklet,meant to help the prospective illegal alien get out of Mexico and onto the backs
of American taxpayers with ease and comfort.

The booklet is
published in both Spanish and Mexican, and includes maps and photos of
landing spots for the newly arrived illegal alien.

A handy list
of phone numbers including that of Janet Napolitano, the ACLU, and other corrupt
immigration attorneys is provided.

Entitled, “Strategies for
Invading America in the Era of SB 1070,”
the booklet is available
in all Mexican schools, banks, restaurants, government offices,
churches, hospitals, prisons, confession booths, and travel agencies.

It
is also available in America at Mexican embassies,
Catholic Church parishes,
Le Reza meetings, branches of the DNC, Janet Napolitano’s office, and
by visiting Nancy Pelosi’s website, pelosinvadeamerica.guv.

By
simply registering five or more illegal aliens as Democrats at Pelosi’s
site, a free booklet will be shipped Overnight Express, franking
courtesy of the U.S. Treasury.

When boiled down to its most base
element, this strategy is a break through discovery in criminal
behavior, exploitation of America’s ludicrous legal system, affirmative
action fraud, all based on a liberal population intent on national
suicide.

Winning the battle against America’s anti-Hispanic
hatred involves the following actions:

The first step for the
enterprising invader is to secure a respectable amount of marijuana,
cocaine, and heroine, available at most gasoline stations, bars, movie
theaters, churches, and Taco stands in Northern Mexico.

Then one
must scamper across the
border into the U.S. at a location where one is most likely to be
spotted by Border Patrol
agents
.

When spotted by Border Patrol, make an immediate U-turn and
started running back towards Mexico.

At that point, because they
are racist pigs, the Border Patrol will chase you and most probably
shoot you in the butt.

Do not panic, senor: : Your ship has
finally come in!

After the Border Patrol has arrested you, you
will be allowed one call.

Use this call wisely by contacting the
nearest ACLU office. Tell them you are an illegal alien from Mexico who
was shot in the ass by the Border Patrol on the American side of the
border.

To assure immediate action, mention that you were shot
while smuggling illegal drugs into the U.S.

Within 10 minutes or
sooner, an ACLU lawyer will arrive at your cell and immediately start
working on your behalf by text messaging Homeland Security guru Janet Napolitano to
inform
her of your awful plight.

Before you are actually booked, the
Napolitano goons, in concert with the ACLU, will bail you out and cause
the police to arrest all of the offending Border Patrol agents to take
your place.

You will then receive immunity from all crimes in
exchange for your testimony against the criminals, those punks who until
two hours ago were Border Patrol agents.

Early next morning,
your ACLU lawyers will visit you in your executive suite at the finest
hotel in town, to sign documents needed to sue the former Border Patrol
agents, the U.S. government, and all conservative radio talk show hosts and right
wing columnists.

Provided the ACLU can find the right leftist
judge and a rigged jury, you, the illegal alien, could look forward to
receiving up to a five million-dollar judgment for your travails.

This
is nearly what you might have hauled in by selling all those drugs!

What’s
that? You fear
being arrested by racists and bigots in Arizona law enforcement?

Chill
out, senor-dude!

Remember, you are a good hearted, hard working,
fellow who just came here to do work that Americans, including blacks,
will not do!

You are part of a protected class; a man to whom
the rule of law does not apply.

Welcome to America!

John
W. Lillpop

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