Obama Blames W. for Eyjafjallajokull: Urges Congress to “Get Off Your Ash for America!” (SATIRE)

Satire
by John W. Lillpop

Joined by Al Gore, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and the White House weather czar
in the Rose Garden on Sunday, President Obama denounced the eruptions
of the Eyjafjallajokull volcano in the strongest possible language:

“Once
again, the Earth and its six billion inhabitants are paying an enormous
price for eight years of environmental, economic, and political neglect
and abuse at the hands of George W. Bush and his Republican
co-conspirators in
Congress.

“As any credible scientist seeking the truth will
readily admit, the devastation of Europe by Eyjafjallajokull is directly
linked to the reckless, pro-business, anti-people policies of the last
Republican administration.

“When the scientific facts are
reviewed objectively, there can be no disputing that the mega tons of
ash now polluting the skies over Europe were ‘inherited’ from the Bush administration.

“Therefore,
it falls to my administration to clean up another inherited mess which,
if left unattended, could wipe out all of the progress that we have
made over the past 14 months.

“Accordingly, I am issuing a
clarion call to members
of the Senate
and House to join me in combating violent volcanic eruptions
caused by Republican environmental malfeasance.

“On Monday, we
will formally announce details of the “Volcanic and Financial Institutions Reform Act of 2010,”
which will combine the
so-called Cap and Trade and Wall Street reform bills into one
voter-friendly, understandable bill that will save the world and main
street from further carnage at the hands of conservatives.

“In
formulating this aggressive, pro-active approach to solving America’s
thorny problems, my administration has consulted with renowned
scientists like Al Gore,
Katie Couric, Keith Olbermann, Prince Charles,
Bono, and others of equal status.

“Without exception, all agree
that the “Volcanic and Financial Institutions Reform Act of 2010,” is
urgently needed and must be enacted before the start of summer. That
gives us about six weeks to act.

“Skeptics—mostly greedy
Republicans—will immediately attack the four trillion price tag as too
expensive.

To which we must answer, ‘There is no price too high
to pay for the health and prosperity of our citizens and illegal aliens.
This we can, and must, do.’

"Our
rallying cry will be, ‘Get off Your Ash for America!’

————————————————————–

Thus,
another 4 trillion dollars of wealth will be stolen from future
generations of Americans to fund the Marxist fantasies of a very
confused community organizer from Kenya!

John
W. Lillpop

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