How Obama Can Deliver His State of Union in Under Two Minutes

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Pity poor Barack Obama. Delivering the State of the Union
after his wrecking-ball performance over the past twelve month is
almost too much to ask, even for a clean and articulate man of color
without a Negro dialect.

Democrats are urging the president to focus on the economy and the lingering carnage attributable to George W. Bush. That would make the speech 40-60 minutes long, far too much time for a failed president.

Above all else, Obama needs to make
his speech short, concise and to the point.

America
is in deep trouble and the last thing we need is a long lecture about
how George W. Bush is to blame for all bad news, including the
earthquake in Haiti according to some deranged leftist actor out in
Hollywood.

America does not give a damn about savaging W. anymore. We want our leaders to focus on fixing the problems, rather than fixing blame!

Another
bit of free counsel: Completely avoid the word CHANGE, as that word is
now synonymous with communism in the hearts and minds of Americans who
have been paying attention.

One more helpful tip: Avoid the following subjects entirely:

Unemployment/Jobs Creation

Homeland Security/Defense

War in Afghanistan

Energy Independence

Massachusetts

Overall Economy/Fiscal Prudence

Deficit Management

Iran, North Korea

Russia, China

Status of
the Dollar

Middle East Peace

USA Image Abroad

2016 Olympics and Chicago
 
GITMO
Transparency in Government

Race Relations, and

Health Care Reform

Focus instead on your Nobel Peace Prize and other outstanding achievements, Mr President.

By
speaking only about your achievements, sir, you should be able to
deliver your State of the Union in less than two minutes, provided your
teleprompter does not misbehave.

Good luck, and Allah bless America! 
 

John W. Lillpop

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